Podzilla 1985

Monday, September 01, 2014

One Thing WWE Can Do to Make TV Less Repetitive

Hint Hint
Sometimes it's hard to watch WWE and get excited about the product. There are a lot of reasons for a blanket statement like that, including but not limited to poor writing and too much John Cena.

My biggest problem with the brand, especially the TV side of it, is the reliance on the same matches every week. I don't care how good a story line is between sides, I can only see the same guys go at it weekly so many times before I switch over to Nitro.

And then I realize Nitro isn't on anymore because it isn't 1998.

Then I go cry to my parents, but they're both dead because it isn't 1998.

And then I hug my Gizmo doll, watch Ghostbusters for the 900th time, and I just plain cry.

World Wrestling Entertainment currently has probably their most stale product since the days of the Duke the Dumpster Droese. Very seldom does the product legitimately surprise you like it did during the Attitude Era, and a lot of that can be blamed on the fact there is no competition. Back in my younger days there was an option for viewers, and if you didn't like what was on the USA Network you would switch over to TNT. That forced both products to become better, and the fans were the real winners. There were great talents creating some very memorable characters, and those characters were reinforced with interesting storytelling and a feeling of anything-can-happen.

Those days are gone now.

From the top of the card down to the bottom, you'd be hard pressed to find something that would drop your jaw these days. It would be easy enough to just blame everything on Kane, since he seems to be the one who constantly comes out and helps the bad guys win. I like Kane, so I'm going to give his character a break. Besides, he isn't the one writing the scripts that reek of playing it safe. It doesn't feel spontaneous or shocking anymore.

Sure, we all got a chuckle out of Brock Lesnar absolutely destroying John Cena at Summerslam, but even that came off extremely predictable thanks to some well thought and honest storytelling.

What did make it entertaining was the fact that Cena and Lesnar had only met a handful of times in the ring. The last time they went toe to toe was at Extreme Rules in 2012, and I can't even remember before that. Do you think Cena and Lesnar would have the same impact if they had wrestled every PPV and multiple times per month on TV ala the Wyatt's and the Uso's?

Of course not. It's easy for me to criticize since I'm not making executive decisions, but I think we're looking at a major backlash against WWE soon if something doesn't change. They can't afford to keep giving away the same matches on TV, and then expecting you to want to see them yet AGAIN on PPV.

Every. Fucking. Week.
So how do you stop this same old same old? The no brainer is just to mix up the opponents and have the guys face different people weekly. That theory immediately goes out the window when, even on the September 1st RAW, they have Zack Ryder losing to Rusev again.


For the hundredth time.

It feels like they have a limited roster now, which is baffling when you consider all of the names they've signed and let go in the past decade. It seems they lack the warm bodies or they just refuse to use them. Either way, you can forget about fresh match ups on Monday Night RAW and Smackdown.

And Main Event.

And Superstars...

Anyway, there has to be a solution, right? A change must happen. A hero must rise!

Of course, I'm speaking about the return...of the jobber.

Put your hand down, Ryder. Have some goddamn self respect.

It used to be very prevalent in the 80's and 90's. "Enhancement talent" was used to put over wrestlers, and it worked well enough. They would just get some local guys to come out and take an ass kicking from whoever they were trying to get over, and it also saved other people on the roster from losing steam. It's kind of like what they do with people like Zack Ryder and Kofi Kingston, except you hardly ever saw the guy again and they were usually on to the next set of nobodies.

Actually, I think they used a similar scheme with Ryback to get him some "heat." I use insider terms so the wrestling elite will think I'm legit and not just some dumbass fan who thinks they're smarter than they really are. It worked pretty well in establishing Ryback as a monster.

Imagine how many more big names they could make if they stopped pushing their top tier at the expense of the mid card talent. Do you really think fans care if Rusev is beating on Zack Ryder or Hometown Jobber #25? You're still getting Rusev over as a threat without damaging a guy that used to be a legit money maker. You could reestablish Ryder by having him beat on some jobbers as well! And then, if you decide to job Ryder out to the Bulgarian Brute at some point, it will mean more since he hasn't already done it twice a month on RAW.

I understand why they got rid of jobbing. When WCW went head to head with WWE the landscape of wrestling changed. Fans didn't want to see Barry Horowitz losing to Mabel when they could be watching DDP versus Macho Man. WWE had to adapt, and they took advantage of a hot roster to put on some great shows and some fantastic matches.

The days of that great rivalry are dead, and that hot roster is gone now. John Cena is stale. Bray Wyatt is nearing the point of becoming a new Kingston. Guys like Zack Ryder might as well not even show up to the show. There are very few people on the current WWE roster that have real momentum, and that will continue as long as we keep pitting them against the same people week after week.

We've gone back to the family friendly feel of the World Wrestling Federation before WCW changed all of the rules. Why can't we go back to that old standby of using a jobber to make main roster talents look good?

I can even write out the formula for Vince and company if they want. They seem to really like a formula to follow week after week.

  • Open the show with an interview to set up a main event match between two established stars.
  • Pimp the WWE Network.
  • Jobber match with a popular talent to get the crowd rowdy.
  • Pimp the Network.
  • Interview.
  • Jobber match.
  • $9.99
  • First hour main event between tag teams.
  • Video package recapping the first hour.
  • 6 Month Commitment.
  • Jobber Match.
  • Bray Wyatt sings children's favorites.
  • Jobber Match.
  • Network.
  • Second hour main event between mid carders.
  • Total Diva's promo.
  • Why are these shows so fucking long?
  • Slam City episode
And honestly, it's getting difficult to fill time at this point. My God the switch to a three hour format is a nightmare. In the third hour you could have some legit matches, and it makes it feel really important. My point is that you can't get the audience excited about a wrestler when you're putting them in the same position each week and having them win or lose against the same people.

The time is now, my brothers and sisters! The jobber must save us all! 

You could even have a few of the more popular jobbers become breakout stars ala 1-2-3 Kid and, to a lesser degree, Barry Horowitz.

I think we all know who the new savior will be.

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