Podzilla 1985

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

WWE - Talents Greatest Assassin

Vince McMahon is like a ninja.

He's some kind of crazy, aging, brilliant ninja who is stalking the halls of Titan Tower looking for his next victim. His prey of choice?

The next big thing.

No Brock, you're safe. Go back to your one-appearance-a-year-million-dollar-paydays and train for that UFC comeback. You might even take down Ronda Rousey, if you try hard enough. God knows I'd like to see someone shut that disrespectful trap of hers, since the beautiful and classy Meisha Tate came up short.

Ahhh, Meisha Tate....

I kid, I would never advocate violence against a woman. That's not entirely true, I did once, and that's why I don't work at GameStop anymore. I'm better off though, because now I'm free of the corporate hassles. Along with the corporate pay. Christ, what have I done with my life...

What were we talking about, again?

Right, Vince McMahon.

No, when I said that McMahon is looking for the next big thing, I actually meant the next up and coming star that he himself did not create. Or, hell, sometimes even ones he christens as the next star. Drew Mcintyre wasn't always a comedy act, you know.

I was watching Monday Night Raw on 1/13, and I quickly remembered why I stopped watching wrestling in the first place. In my head were the memories of a RAW long past, episodes where great characters found themselves smack dab in the middle of fantastic writing and an energetic pedal to the metal attitude. This is back when talents were trusted to cut their own promos, and even the smallest storyline had weight and importance to it. Children, if you weren't around for the fabled Monday Night Wars I truly pity you, as it was the greatest time to be a fan of this great sport.

Those days are gone now. You can find them buried in a landfill next to copies of E.T. on Atari, or maybe somewhere near Sean O'Haire's push on the other side of profitability.

I watched RAW because I'm currently on vacation and I figured I had some time to kill. Aside from the predictable match outcomes and embarrassingly bad promos and backstage segments, I did discover a true diamond in the rough. Well, the backstage interviewer was also quite exquisite looking, but her mic skills really made me miss the methodical shilling of Gene Okerlund.

The WWE Universe was treated to a cage match to finish off the show between the Uso's and the Wyatt family. I like the Uso's, they're like mini-Rocks with more altitude and less attitude. The Wyatt family, while I was initially a fan of, have certainly lost favor with me in the past few months. I've caught a couple of their promos, and while some would see them as cryptic and different from the norm, I think they've just become one dimensional. It's not hard to write a promo that makes absolutely no sense, you just throw a bunch of buzz words and random ideologies to a guy who can obviously talk the talk. No disrespect to Bray Wyatt, because I think he is a smashing talent with a good gimmick that is slowly slipping into mediocrity.

But then I saw the diamond. Glittering greatness, thy name is Daniel Bryan.

I know, you're probably saying to yourself that I'm some kind of Johnny-Come-Lately and that everyone already knows Bryan is amazing. I realize that people have been praising him since he came up through the indies, but I want to look past his previous achievements and obvious in ring skills and point out the simple fact that this is a man wrestling fans are completely in love with. The fact that he is treated like such a red headed step child just plain baffles me.

McMahon likes big guys. He likes big guys that look like legit bad asses, and he has no problem pushing to the moon. Sometimes you get an amazing talent like Brock Lesnar, and other times you get a Nathan Jones. Every once in a while you come across a talent that may not look like the biggest dog in the yard, but he barks the loudest and really resonates with the audience. Shawn Micheals isn't a monster visually, but you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would say he isn't arguably the greatest star in wrestling history.

And then you have Daniel Bryan. Here is a guy who has been spit on, de-pushed, humiliated, emasculated, and beaten down every time he got close to that glass ceiling. Even now he's put in a senseless angle where he plays bitch to a supposed cult leader.

Despite all of that, and even comparison to legendary superstars of the past, I have never in my life seen a single wrestler control an audience like he did on Monday.

Daniel Bryan has a connection with the WWE Universe that has never been rivaled in the history of this industry.

He shouldn't be at this point. There have been other wrestlers that danced around that distinction, but generally Ninja McMahon has stopped that ascent with the skills of a egomaniacal jackass.

I remember a few years ago when Zack Ryder was one of the hottest names in the business. People chanted for him when he was nowhere in sight, his merchandise sky rocketed off the shelves, and the moment "Oh, Radio!" blared over the arena speakers the fans would erupt. Ryder should have been one of the next big stars, despite the WWE brass giving him no opportunities. He made his own opportunity through the wit and creativity of his internet show, and he quickly went from near release to must see TV. One could argue that he ushered in the WWE's loving relationship with social media, but they'll never give him the credit for that. In a few months he will probably be future endeavored, and maybe TNA can give him the chance to shine that he deserves.

I mean, assuming they're still in business.

It's not just Zack Ryder. Dolph Ziggler was on the edge of greatness when he had his wings clipped multiple
times. There is also the aforementioned Drew Mcintyre, who McMahon himself promoted on TV before banishing him to Jobberland (established in the 90's by Al Snow). Let's not forget Matt Hardy, who after getting screwed over in real life by his friend Edge and girlfriend Lita, became a megastar that was quickly castrated and swept under the rug.

Hell, even Fandango got over in the strangest way, only to be placed back in the same old nonsense a mere few months later.

These people should be on their way to championship careers, but instead we get that old chestnut of Cena versus Orton.

Again.

And why? I've heard it's because McMahon doesn't see the potential in these people and he knows what is best for business. After all, he IS this business. He was the genius who took wrestling out of the territories and into the mainstream. For some of the people mentioned above I can see his argument. Everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame, and the fans might have lost interest in the flavor of the week and he would have wasted time and money invested in them.

But you go back to Monday and watch the crowd react to every single move, movement, and eye twitch that Daniel Bryan makes. Watch as they chant with him, at him, and for him as loud as I've ever heard. I hope McMahon sees the way they go nuts at the mere act of pointing his fingers, and then I want to hear his explanation of why Bryan isn't a marketable champion.

Have him compare the smattering of reaction for Orton and Cena to the deafening sounds of the WWE Universe when Daniel Bryan takes stage. CM Punk was right. He's a millionaire that should be a billionaire.

And Daniel Bryan should be the unified champion, not a two time wellness failure with the emotional range of an acorn.

And Zack Ryder should be on TV!!!

Fucking Vince McMahon....


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