Podzilla 1985

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Greatest Movies You've Never Seen

We at Team BZ85 pride ourselves on bringing you the best in entertainment. But we know that, more often than not, today's entertainment is an awful experience reserved only for the worst kind of liberals in Hell. So, once in a while, we like to bring to your attention something truly great!

Now, we don't know why you've never seen these classics. Maybe you grew up in the wrong time period, maybe you're poor and can't afford a television, or maybe you're just the kind of idiot who would rather watch Honey Boo Boo.

We don't judge here. We save that for when you leave. In the mean time, enjoy this installment of The Greatest Movies You've Never Seen.

Werewolves are my favorite kind of monster. Vampires, save for a few select films, are usually just pretty people with long teeth. Even their kill scenes are tame in the realm of horror. Zombies are played out more than that song about calling that girl, and don't even get me started on mummies. Oh God, you don't want me to talk about mummies.

But werewolves are the very definition of ferocity and make for great movie monsters. There have been a handful of big name werewolf films you've no doubt seen, my favorite of which being "An American Werewolf in London." There are some lesser known titles which are still pretty recognizable, like "Ginger Snaps," and then there is todays subject - "Dog Soldiers."

This 2002 classic has a good cast of relative unknowns playing soldiers out in the middle of nowhere during a war games exercise. They stumble across some torn apart corpses, a freaked out special forces agent, and some of the coolest looking werewolves I've ever seen on film.

We rented this film when it first came out from the local Blockbuster and didn't expect much from it. Back then my roommate and I just liked watching bad horror films and we went into this thinking it could be entertaining in a goofy way. We were pleasantly wrong though, as it was one of the freshest and goriest werewolf movies we'd ever seen.

It pulls you in quickly with an opening scene that wasn't terribly original, but still well done. Couple in the woods, sexy girl strips, bad things happen. We are introduced to our soldiers next, each with their own quirky personalities and hard to understand dialect. One thing I will warn you about this movie is their Scottish accents are thick, and sometimes they can be hard to understand. I need to dust up on some of my Scottish slang, because even when I understood what they were saying I only caught about half of what they meant.

None of it matters though, as the real meat of the film is in what's stalking them. Once the ball gets rolling you're given POV shots of the werewolves as they tear apart the soldiers one by one. The kills are nasty, but not in an overtly disgusting way. It reminds me of old 80's horror in the way that it shows everything without making you want to gag. You get occasional glimpses of the monsters here and there, and at this point I assumed they would keep the creatures to a minimum to hide their budget.

We meet the only girl in the film, except for that poor tasty thing in the beginning, and she leads our would be heroes to a farm house where the rest of the movie takes place. It's here that the movie switches into action mode, where the soldiers make their stand against the beasts while waiting for sunrise.

And it's here where that whole notion of low budget monsters goes right out the window. They hide nothing as the werewolves fight in full sight, and the costumes look amazing. Whenever I watch a werewolf film I'm always disappointed in the monster, as it either looks like a man with a hairy face or some kind of ugly hybrid that just looks generic and boring. Until this movie the only werewolf I was ever impressed with was the one in "An American Werewolf in London," as it captured the terrifying look of a huge rabid wolf.

But the ones in this film, in my opinion, look even better. This is what I always envisioned a werewolf looking like. They're tall, muscular, ferocious, and just a pure frightening sight to see. I love the way they tease showing us the monster in the beginning, and then go balls to the wall with them in the later part of the story. They're not quite as impressive as the wolf in "Bad Moon," but the film itself is much better. Good stuff all around.

If you're looking for a good werewolf movie and in your desperation you reach for Twilight, do yourself a favor and stab that hand with a kitchen knife. Then go out and find "Dog Soldiers," an action packed gore fest with amazing looking werewolves an excuse to use the subtitle option on your television.

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