Podzilla 1985

Thursday, October 11, 2012

EA Sports - It's in last years game!

So aside from some problems with the neighbors here at Team BZ HQ, I've had a pretty chill day. Played some Guild Wars 2, DOA 5, watched some King of the Hill, and caught up all the news I miss when I'm putting this damn site together for the shorties. After all, I do it for the shorties.

And future merchandise plans.

Seen here - two fucks not given.
But a disturbing report came my way that reminded me of how much I hate corporations, and suddenly Hank Hill didn't seem so sweet. Now I know this story may seem insignificant, after all it's about the Nintendo Wii. It's also a few days old, but again, it's the Wii and I didn't think anyone would notice. With the Wii-U right around the corner, it seems most people have picked up their interest and moved on. Still, I can't let an obvious corporate dicking happen to the good people of Gaming Land, even if it is on a dying system and a game I could not give two fucks about.

If you've picked up your copy of FIFA 13 on the Wii, and lord knows you haven't because it's soccer, you'll notice a few similarities. Or, if you're not Randy Travis style drunk, you'll notice you're pretty much playing the same goddamn game as last years, right down to the menus and layout.

Easy there Capcom, looks like you might have some competition for being the biggest douchebags in the gaming industry!




"You bought a soccer game? On the Wii!?"
According to Nintendo Gamer, FIFA 13 is nothing more than FIFA 12 with a roster update and a couple of small changes here and there. We're not talking Madden's yearly changes, I mean miniscule tiny Danny Devito size changes. You're basically paying full price for a patch to update your players and teams. At $50 a pop, you can see how this might be a problem for John Everyman, who picks and chooses his purchases carefully because he's one of the 47% of America dependent on government aid.


11 out of the 13 who bought the new FIFA game are outraged, and EA scrambled to get the message out reassuring their fanbase that they still cared, saying they - "felt it was important to continue to offer fans the opportunity to play an authentic football experience on Wii."

Fans didn't buy the vague response, but then EA started asking them if they remembered Mass Effect, and they made up over an Alamo beer.

Of course, this isn't the first time that a company has released the same game over and over again. Speaking of which, don't forget to pre-order Halo 4 at your local game store! Just remember to bring your trades, and put the vaseline on your own asshole before you go in. You'll know why when it happens.

Check out the evidence yourself at Nintendo Gamers comparison gallery, and then hug your Xbox 360 really tight and remind yourself that the Wii is just a nightmare and can't hurt you.

Our own calls to EA turned up nothing, but then we remembered that we didn't have their number so we ordered pizza instead.
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